“Great leaders move us” (p. 3)
“They ignite our passion and inspire the best in us” (p. 3).
“Great leadership works through the emotions” (p. 3).
“No matter what leaders set out to do — whether it’s creating strategy or mobilizing teams to action — their success depends on how they do it” (p. 3).
“The emotional task of the leader is primal — that is, first — in two senses: It is both the original and most important act of leadership” (p. 5).
“The key, of course, to making primal leadership work to everyone’s advantage lies in the leadership competencies of emotional intelligence [EI]: how leaders handle themselves and their relationships” (p. 6).
“The leader can add the strongest flavor to the emotional soup of a group. The leader can set the emotional standard” (p. 8, 9).
“How people feel about working for a company can effect performance by 20-30 percent” (pp.17, 18).
“In any work setting, the emotional and the business impact of a dissonant leader can be gauged easily…People feel off-balance, and thus perform poorly” (p. 19).
The Resonant Leader
“[The resonant leader] was attuned to people’s feelings and moved them in a positive emotional direction. Speaking authentically from his own values and resonating with the emotions of those around him, he hit just the right chords with his message, leaving people feeling uplifted and inspired even in a difficult moment. When a leader triggers resonance, you can read it in people’s eyes: They’re engaged and they light up” (pp. 19, 20).
The Four Domains
“Each of the four domains of emotional intelligence — self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management — adds a crucial set of skills for resonant leadership” (p. 30).
- Self Awareness
“In short, self-awareness facilitates both empathy and self-management, and these two, in combination, allow effective relationship management. EI leadership, then, builds from a foundation of self-awareness. Self-awareness — often overlooked in business settings — is the foundation for the rest: Without recognizing our own emotions, we will be poor at managing them, and less able to understand them in others” (p. 30).
“Simply put, self-awareness means having a deep understanding of one’s emotions, as well as one’s strengths and limitations and one’s values and motives” (p. 40).
“From self-awareness — understanding one’s emotions and being clear about one’s purpose — flows self-management, the focused drive that all leaders need to achieve their goal. Without knowing what we are feeling, we’re at a loss to manage those feelings. Instead, our emotions control us” (p. 45).
- Social Awareness
“Social awareness — particularly empathy — supports the next step in the leader’s primal task: driving resonance. By being attuned to how others feel in the moment, a leader can say and do what’s appropriate, whether that means calming fears, assuaging anger, or joining in good spirits. This attunement also lets a leader sense the shared values and priorities that can guide a group” (p. 30).
“After self-awareness and emotional self-management, resonant leadership requires social awareness or, put another way, empathy. The ability to empathize, in its most basic form, stems from neurons in extended circuitry connected to, and in, the amygdala that read another person’s face and voice for emotion and continually attune us to how someone else feels as we speak to them” (p. 48).
- Relationship Management
“Finally, once leaders understand their own vision and values and can perceive the emotions of the group, their relationship management skills can catalyze resonance. The guide the emotional tone of a group, however, leaders must first have a sure sense of their own direction and priorities — which brings us back again to the importance of self awareness” (p. 31).
“Managing relationships skillfully boils down to handling other people’s emotions. This, in turn, demands that leaders be aware of their own emotions and attuned with empathy to the people they lead” (p. 51).
Assess Yourself: Are You A Resonant Leader?*
Rank yourself out of ten in each area (1 = not at all; 10 = frequently)
- Personal Competence
- How “in touch” are you with your own feelings? ……
- How well do you know your own strengths and weaknesses? ……
- How healthy is your self-image?
- How much do you show evidence of possessing a drive to improve your own performance?
- How well do you control your own anger and frustrations?
- How free are you of self-destructive habits and addictions?
- How able are you at adapting to changing situations?
- How self-disciplined are you at being able to sacrifice your lifestyle now in order to work for a reward you won’t see for many years?
- How much have you proven to have the ability to show initiative?
- How well do you handle personal setbacks?
- Social Competence
- Social awareness
- How good is your reputation for understanding other people’s point of view?
- How naturally aware are you of the characteristics and culture of a group of people?
- How naturally aware are you of the feelings and needs of others?
- Relationship management
- How able are you at resolving conflicts with people?
- How well can you inspire others with an idea?
- How easily are you able to make friends?
- How much are you able to initiate change in an organisation?
- How is your ability to win a debate whilst remaining friends?
- How much do you naturally attract people around you?
- How much do people naturally look to you for strength and leadership during times of change?
- Social awareness
“If you’re a leader, you want to be the boss people want to work for, which means someone who cares about me, understands me, who’s going to help me do better instead of just look at how I’ve blown it” (http://www.danielgoleman.info/daniel-goleman-the-one-reason-why-people-dont-want-to-work-for-you/).